Christmas Kisses From Granny

Jenn is a elementary school teacher and a brilliant one.  Her childlike playfulness matches her classrooms’ essence perfectly.  She teaches from such a compassionate and wildly imaginative manner, that I sometimes wish she had been my teacher.

We met years ago in energy medicine school.  When it came my turn to introduce myself to the group and I mentioned I worked as a medium, Jenn inhaled suddenly and froze, staring wide eyed at me, as if her very life was threatened.  Overtime, our similarities far outweighed the contrast, and we became great pals.  I was surprised years ago when she first reached out to me for an appointment.  Again, that resistance was palpable, yet I had to admire her willingness to dance with her discomfort.  She follows her heart, even if her head seems to object.  We have learned much from each other; one of God’s sweet gifts in my life.

Jenn came for a session two weeks ago.  I was surprised when we immediately connected to the other side.  Immediately present was her maternal grandmother. Granny started with a kiss on Jenn’s left cheek.  She had a bold personality; she brought chocolate chip cookies, Birthday wishes for Jenn’s Mom, and sparkly celebration cards with small denominations of money. She was aware the family had been sifting through her personal treasures.  She talked about shared TV dinners and chicken pot pies while watching Lawrence Welk.  Since her husband had died before her, she had become very independent, and celebrated that very quality in Jenn.  As I blended more with Granny's memories, I became Jenn as an infant boldly walking and exploring in diapers all accessible surfaces.  I could feel Jenn’s bold personality had always been evident.  Granny started thanking Jenn for taking care of her daughter, Jenn’s Mom.  Granny seemed to know Jenn had spent years working on her relationship with her.  She recognized her daughter was very stubborn and childlike in manner, but not a natural Mother, which Jenn mourned.  Granny thanked Jenn for choosing to accept their relationship and transcend it with forgiveness.  She recognized that Jenn became such a great shepherd for her students largely due to the void created by her Mom.

Jenn’s eyes rested on a cherished gift on my desk; a nest.  “Is that chocolate?” her childlike nature discovering a treasure I had forgotten about resting next to the blue and speckled real eggs. “Yes, it is called a Baci.  It is an Italian kiss.  It is a hazelnut dipped in dark chocolate. Each one has a fortune wrapped around it in a couple of different languages”. “Huh, Mom and Grammy went to Italy together In 1959” Jenn remarked popping the candy in her mouth.   She unwrapped the fortune, reading it in each language.  I smiled thinking how much I adore Jenn and her ability to just explore each moment with such fun.  Thank God she works with our kids.

Jenn got rather quiet when she read the fortune in English.  "An affectionate word from a friend can cure sadness."  The fortune was clearly inspired by Granny.        

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After a moment, Jenn shared a story.  “Granny lived at Leisure world in Seal Beach.  I was a wild child; busy, active, strong, sort of unbound.  One time, I was at her house and she held out a nest made of cotton with a real dove’s egg inside.  She asked me to hold it gently and she put the egg into my hands.  In my joy and wonder, I was so excited that I crushed it.  I was so little.  It went all over my yellow pajama dress. Granny was upset because of the mess.  I was upset because I cracked the egg.

This was a core story for me.  It inspired one of the fifteen art pieces that evolved into an art show I did in 2012.

 It’s as if I have lived with a silver sash of melancholy across my heart and down my left side related to generations of loss on the maternal side of my family. To consider living without that weight and burden is a turning point for me."

Granny had started and finished with a kiss.  It was clear she knew Jenn had held this story and it was time to let it go.  It never ceases to amaze me how much the Spirit world wishes to help us live within the present.  So many things in our life seem unnoticed, but the Spirit world is witness to the beauty of our becoming.

As you step into this Holiday season, center your awareness in each passing moment.  What has happened probably deeply inspired great beauty in you.  May you be abundantly blessed!!

Dancing with Resistance

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I was on the East coast most of July.  This trip I decided to see what if felt like to trust this world as much as I do the Spirit world.  After all, my work is all about having no idea what is going to happen and free falling into the unknown.

I decided to challenge myself to say “yes” when I wanted to say “no”, let myself be uncomfortable, and reach out to the other two leggers and see what happened.  

The man I sit next to on the plane to NY graduated from my college with the same major, knows people I know and is joining the faculty.  We have everything in common and it is equally synchronistic, as I have requested an impromptu reunion with some dear college pals at the end of this trip who I have not seen since graduation. 

I travel to a seminar.  I meet two ladies who become my sista’s and we are joined at the hip for the duration.  When one finds out I am going to be in Manhattan staying in a hotel, she insists I stay at her family’s home near NYU.  Normally, this would be a gesture I would deeply appreciate, but would immediately decline. “Yes, that would be great” falls out of my mouth before I can hesitate.  When I arrive in Manhattan at my new pal’s home, I am floored.  It is ON Washington Square.  It is stunning, with vaulted ceilings, chic design, and through the open windows floats the clarinet standards from the square.  A synchronistic hour of songs waft into the open windows; clearly a Heavenly playlist.

Upstate New York:  A great friend invites me to her wedding reception.  I am deeply honored by the invitation and immediately say, “Yes”.  She picks my up from the seminar and drives me an hour north to her home instead of my offer to take the train.  She arranges for me to stay at her neighbor’s home instead of my planned AirB&B. All of this feels incredibly uncomfortable, but I keep saying, “Yes”.  I am dropped off at the neighbors, who treat me like family from the moment we say “hello.” I share in the intimate wedding reception.   I return across the field to the neighbors.  I start to ascend the stairs to my room, when the husband calls out my name.  He is moving a lamp out onto a freshly constructed deck, “I need more light.  Come join us Austyn,” he explains untangling its cord.  He is a kid in a candy shop about the Birthday present he is giving to his wife.  Before I can resist, I am sitting next to him outside. He shifts in his chair, standing up, sitting down, all the while his Birthday bride is story telling and very slowly opening his beautifully wrapped gift.  A child on Christmas morning, I can feel how important this is to him.  The present: a painting of the place in France where he proposed.  Mind you, this is a couple whose child just graduated college.  I feel blessed to witness such a thoughtful and loving moment, celebrating what is clearly a decision he is happy he made years ago.  The next day, the new Bride with oodles of house guests, drives me again to the train station, instead of my Uber plan. 

New Jersey.  My “Cute As Buttons” entrepreneur, who I met years ago at a children’s clothing tradeshow, kept saying, “If you are ever in New Jersey…” She picks me up at the train station.  Even her husband is initially questioning his wife’s sanity about having someone they barely know stay with them.  Once in the car, she and I pick up like we never stopped.  She takes me to her Tae Kwon Do class. We eat pizza across from The Stone Pony where Springsteen and many others began. My black belt friend shares her new Belmar storefront.  We are successful businesswomen now, which was our shared dream years ago. We celebrate each other’s accomplishments. Our time together cements a life-long friendship.

Long Island.  My LI hostess offers to drive hours to pick me up in New Jersey to bring me back to her home instead of my offer to take the train.   We metaphysically bond, talk about the future of Mediumship and how blessed we are to know many of its leaders.  The time we chat in the car sets up a great and holistic weekend filled with Spirited moments, good food and a Harry Potter marathon.

Brooklyn:  A client who has been asking me to come and meet her tribe hosts me.  Her brownstone walk up is meticulous and a visual masterpiece, as her photo editing history and instagram followers (nji) confirm.  She makes me Shepherd’s pie, includes me in gal pal gatherings, and with the trust of a child, opens her world to me.  We share similar love of food, travel, and an unbridled passion to lead and create.  We notice how we feel our lives are truly just beginning. 

Finally, back to Manhattan and Washington Square for more clients, the reunion, and an impromptu visit with my amazing niece.  My college pals and I ease into memories and moments shared that equally inspired and sweetly remain.  I am so proud of each of their endeavors: a Tony nominated producer, a Sesame Street cast member and now director, an advocate for Children with terminal illnesses, and a song writer who is on the cusp massive success.  We talk of how fortunate we are to know what we love and live our dreams.

My last night in NY, I am on the phone with my husband.  He asks me if my trip has felt successful.  Normally, I would talk about my work, clients, and more about work.  I begin to speak and an unexpected and evident lump in my throat inhibits my response. “Are you still there, Hello?” he says.   A long beat.  “I am.  It was successful beyond what I could have ever imagined, because I let go and trusted, I let so much love in and it felt so nice.”  Our lives are what we make of them.  Try letting go, dance with your resistance, you might just discover you will be just fine, if not substantially better.